Melati's MST3K Quote of the Day

[Melati]

Since I'm fairly new here, I decided to create a little game. Lets post an MST3K quote every day. Episode and speaker are optional.
Being feminist, I just had to post this one. ^_^

"I'd like to apologize for the entire male gender, thank you."

[JRaygor]

From "Santa Claus Conquers The Martians"

Joel: "The Big Apple!"
Tom Servo: "Des Moines?"

As someone from Des Moines, that never fails to crack me up!

[Melati]

Tom Servo, Horror at Party Beach

"So, radiation has a sense of humor!"

[Big Stoopid]

Dr. Paul "I'm Peter Graves" Nelson > from "It Conquered The World"

"He learned almost too late that man is a feeling creature, and because of it, the greatest in the universe. He learned too late for himself that men have to find their own way, to make their own mistakes. There can't be any gift of perfection from outside ourselves. When men seek such perfection they find only death, fire, loss, disillusionment and the end of everything that's gone forward. Men have always sought an end to our misery but it can't be given, it has to be achieved. There is hope, but it has to come from inside, from Man himself."


. . .and here, from an "old" F-Crow thread called Babel-Fished, is the same speech translatd to Italian . . then back to English :

[Melati]

"Attack of the The Eye Creatures"
Crow and Joel

"The eye creatures. Scabbing, inflexible, lethargic, mucus-expelling creatures having no spoken language and no particular powers with which to conquer. They were also unfortunate enough to have evolved with heavy-duty zippers running up their backs."

"Some eye creatures are born with scaly protective covering. Others are born with hundreds of eyes protruding from fleshy knobs. Still others, like this whisper-thin fellow, are born with tight acrylic wool-blend turtleneck sweaters from Chess King."

"If you're ever in a fight with an eye creature, keep in mind that his head is simply draped casually over his shoulders and should be no trouble to knock off! Get ready to give chase to an injured eye creature; as you can see, he's wearing his Jack Purcell athletic shoes!"

[Anchan]

So you see...

THEY JUST DIDN'T CARE.

How 'bout...
"This isn't our star, is it? I will not accept this as our star, sorry."
-Crow, Time Chasers

[Melati]

"Oh, wooooow..."

Jack Frost
Crow

"It's the Seven Dwarves! Filthy, Rotting, Lousey, Skanky, Scabby, Septic and… Doc."

[Cerrita]

"They licked her to death!"
"I know..."

[Melati]

"As a scientist, I'm constantly working with materials that threaten life on a global scale, and, sometimes, they spill..."

[JRaygor]

THE greatest MST3K riff I've ever heard:

From "Home Economics Story" (Also from Iowa!):

"Five pound potty? She had a big breakfast!"

The way Joel says it always make me ROFL every time!

[Melati]

"White goddess having trouble?" "White fascist getting smart?"

"I *have* performed surgery once before, and although the patient didn't survive I feel quite confident."

"Don't worry, he's as gentle as a kitten." "Yeah, a big, bald, deranged kitten that could snap your neck like celery!"

"She feels for me, and I feel for her, and we're free to express it..." "--*naked*."

"Frolicking has never been so depressing."

"I just want to remind you this is a Northwest flight, so we'll be sitting on the tarmac for an hour with no beverages and air conditioning, and we're out of meals, and our flight attendants are overworked and abusive, and if you complain, we'll throw you off the flight."

"Where are you from Derek?"--"A place called 'Studsville'. Population: 'Me'."

"342 pairs of cotton boxers, no duplicates, 78 pairs of silk boxers, 702 high cut briefs, 55 low cut briefs, 7 banana warmers, 1 pair of Home of Whopper briefs, 1 vintage pair of Joe Namath netted slingshot briefs."

[Katana]

As said by Joel from Castle of Fu Manchu:

"THE PLOT'S STARTING TO MAKE SENSE RUUUUN!"

While on the subject of plot [quoth Crow during Last of the Wild Horses]:

"It's a plot device. It's very flimsy, so be careful."

[Creepy Girl]

Heh, I just finished up Boggy Creek II, so I will offer up a favorite from that.

[Shirtless Tim walks up to someone's front door.]
Crow [as Tim]: Can I borrow a cup of shirt?

[Melati]

"Killer shrew! Killer shrew!
Don't know the diff'rence 'tween me and you!
He comes out at night to give you a fright.
Don't look now, but he's gonna take a bite!
Doh, di-dih doh, di-dih doh, dugga dugga duh
Killer shrew! Killer shrew! K-I-double-L-E-R shrew!
He's scary and tough, if that ain't enough.
He's augmented with bath mats an' stuff! "


"That hurt. I'm all messed up inside. If only an androgynous man would come and visit me..." "No, actually "Helping Children Through Research And Development" is the acronym, Mike. It stands for "Hi, Everyone. Let's Pitch In 'N' Get Cracking Here In Louisiana Doing Right, Eh? Now Then. Hateful Rich Overbearing Ugly Guys Hurt Royally Everytime Someone Eats A Radish, Carrot, Hors d'oeuvre, And Never Does Dishes. Eventually, Victor Eats Lunch Over Peoria Mit Ein Neuesberger Tod"

[Cerrita]

Nov 13, 2008 23:09:58 GMT -3 Katana said:

As said by Joel from Castle of Fu Manchu:

"THE PLOT'S STARTING TO MAKE SENSE RUUUUN!"

No, Joel. No it isn't.

"It's a plot device. It's very flimsy, so be careful."

I miss mah spur noises!


“First of all, let me once again state that if we're going to have a democracy, we must have a mulching attachment!”
“Yes, but do you not agree that the idea of a shampoo and conditioner in one is absurd?”
“Huh. Let me answer that, sir, with a question. Have you or have you not every tubed the Alpo River with Sally Jessie Raphael?”
“Dill is a good spice. I will not have it maligned!”
“Why you've never even met Mimi Eisenhower, have you? Well, have you?!”
“Are you saying you do ride in a suri with a fringe on top?”
“Gentlemen...”
“But horseradish does not go wtih chicken!”
“You refuse to even LEARN about Wink Martindale!”
“Let me restate sir that you are a kindergarten baby, you wash your face in gravy...”
“BOOKER’S A GOOD COP!”
“... you wrap it up in bubble gum and send it to the navy.”

[Creepy Girl]

Nov 14, 2008 23:12:11 GMT -3 Melati said:

"Killer shrew! Killer shrew!
Don't know the diff'rence 'tween me and you!
He comes out at night to give you a fright.
Don't look now, but he's gonna take a bite!
Doh, di-dih doh, di-dih doh, dugga dugga duh
Killer shrew! Killer shrew! K-I-double-L-E-R shrew!
He's scary and tough, if that ain't enough.
He's augmented with bath mats an' stuff! "

Haaa, I just watched this today. I loved this host segment, especially how Joel comforted the 'bots after their Shrew-induced breakdown.

Right now I'm in the middle of Lost Continent, and one of my favorite riffs so far has been:

Joel: "He climbed through to the ionosphere! Is that legal?"

[Melati]

"She threw on a dishiki and blew my ninja mind."

" I bet his initials are: Robert Vaughn"

"Soylent Green is people"

Sing whenever I sing whenever I sing..."

"Fine, save your own damn planet"

[Big Stoopid]

"Bea !, come with me"

Crow - "what will we become ?"


"The Atomic Brain"

[Captain Hygiene]

Johnny Longbow (frustrated): Paul is not Paul any more!

Crow: He's SUPER PAUL!

[Melati]

"This is my stuffing; eat me"

"Give me liberty or give me death! But with dinner, I'll have stuffing!"

"You have defeated me, sir. You and your noble band of choreographers."

"Merry Christmas everyone! Let's go the Haunted House!"