Katana
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Post by Katana on Feb 1, 2009 17:06:49 GMT -3
Quite possibly the most delicious and deadly quest ever undertaken, our own Michael J. Nelson has declared that for the entire month of Februray, he shall eat nothing but bacon. He's probably going to die, but he'll die in the most delicious way ever. In honor of his quest, I'm going to try and eat bacon whenever the opportunity is presented to me. Better yet, I'm going to help my quest by buying bacon whenever I'm at the grocery store. In fact, I'm eating a bacon sammich right now - seven slices of the good meat in between two slices of bread. It's friggin' delicious. Mike might be on to something here.
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Post by Captain Hygiene on Feb 1, 2009 19:38:10 GMT -3
I know it's a big surprise but I like bacon too. In fact, those Rifftrax guys ripped off the whole bacon gag from me. *waves cane around*
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Post by Robyn on Feb 1, 2009 19:51:17 GMT -3
*ahem* Hello everyone, thank you all for coming to the preemptive funeral of Katana McKillyoface. For those of you who are also here for the preemptive funeral of Michael J. Nelson, it will follow immediately after this one, and will be held in the living room.
It wasn't very long ago that I met Kat, but she quickly became like a little sister to me. In the sense that she would call me names and give me Indian burns. But despite our differences (particularly when it came to how much hotter Joel is than Mike) we were inseparable. She was a light in the dark, a very loud, crazy light who was in love with Mike and Trace. When she began her mad quest for bacon, I tried to talk her out of it, but Kat had a passion that could not be quelled by logic or reason. *lip trembles* I'm, I'm sorry, it's still hard to talk about. I mean she never even finished that MST3K high school AU fic! That is lame, and also weak!
*deep breath*
Give me my Kat, and when she shall die, cut her into tiny stars, and she will make the face of heaven so fine that all the world will fall in love with the night, and pay no heed to the garish sun.
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Creepy Girl
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Post by Creepy Girl on Feb 1, 2009 20:23:13 GMT -3
*uses handkerchief to dab tears from eyes*
Suddenly, overcome with emotion:
*shakes fist at sky*
DAMN YOU, BACON! DAMN YOU TO THE FIERY PITS FROM WHENCE YOU CAME.
WHAT DID THEY EVER DO TO DESERVE SUCH A FATE? BESIDES FALL PREY TO YOUR TEMPTING CRISPINESS AND MEATY FLAVOR?
*falls to knees, sobs*
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Post by Queen Shadowrama on Feb 1, 2009 20:38:40 GMT -3
Well ladies, we all have a limited amount of time to drool over Mike's hotness. Because come the end of February, he's gonna look pretty nasty... Not even Kat will want him then... *shudder*Oh and Kat, if you truly love Mike, you won't follow him on his noble (yet foolish) quest. If you die a bacon-related death, since you are still under the care of your parents they could totally sue the pants off of Mike for putting such an idea in your head and more importantly, encouraging it. Next thing you know, your death will cause Legend Films to pay your parents millions of dollars in damages and Rifftrax will go belly up. Provided Mike survives this quest, he won't have a job, and he and his family will be forced to live in a leaky cardboard box. So as you see, by emulating Mike, you will bring about his ruin. Way to kill Rifftrax for the rest of us Kat, GAWD!!!! ;D Oh, and I'll also be sad if you die and stuff.
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Post by OxfordProle on Feb 1, 2009 20:39:55 GMT -3
Naysayers be damned, I think both Mike and Kat will emerge from this noble quest stronger than ever. Then, they will merge as one entity and RULE THE WORLD!!! UNITED BY BACON! Best of luck, Kat, you're a far braver woman than I. Then again, I'm in England right now, and English bacon is just absolute rubbish and you couldn't pay me to eat it. So I'll use that as my excuse and not my sissy-pants fear of contracting diabetes, heart attacks, and death. Please keep us informed of your progress and send up smoke signals if you feel arm tinglies and shortness of breath!
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Katana
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Post by Katana on Feb 1, 2009 21:26:39 GMT -3
Let it be known that:
a.) I am still among the living b.) I don't plan on dying a bacon-related death c.) I am eating food and drink other than bacon d.) I have not the money to sustain a bacon diet for the whole month e.) In fact, this is probably the first and last day I'll eat bacon f.) Omfgstfu
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Post by Queen Shadowrama on Feb 1, 2009 21:37:40 GMT -3
It's okay. I saw that I had bacon in my fridge and used over half the pack to make a bacon sandwich also. I like the fact that they were Jimmy Dean's too, just like Mike! ;D
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Post by missblacktop on Feb 1, 2009 21:46:45 GMT -3
I would join in if not for the fact that I like my bacon done to a crisp, and the kitchen here makes it all floppy But I'll honor it by getting BLTs when I go to diners. I do that a lot anyway.
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Katana
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Post by Katana on Feb 1, 2009 21:49:30 GMT -3
It's okay. I saw that I had bacon in my fridge and used over half the pack to make a bacon sandwich also. I like the fact that they were Jimmy Dean's too, just like Mike! ;D OMFGWTFBBQADFJPASDFMBQP38I QUEENIE'S GONNA DIE GUYS.
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Post by Robyn on Feb 3, 2009 7:23:43 GMT -3
If it was Mike's intent to get internet attention, he's got it. Most of the reactions range from "oh my god, he's going to die" to "LOL he's going to die!" Oh No They Didn'tMetafilterFark.comSome favorite (and not-so-favorite) comments: (in response to the comment "I love him sfm") Mike and Joel fangirls *forehead slap* I hate to think that flame war is still going on 16 years later.Oh eat me, she said "I love Mike" not "I love Mike and Joel can DIE IN A FIRE." (And I'm so sure that the flame wars were totes the fault of the fangirls.) I hope you start oozing out cured meat smelling oil from all your pores. You stupid piece of crap.XD! Jeez, did bacon and/or wisecracking robots kill your family? march is going to be heart surgery month.Did anyone ever see his submission for the Grindhouse fake trailer contest? I just now found out he made this - it's hilarious! Now that I hear the voice it does sound like him a bit too. (of course the name in the corner says Mike P Nelson, but isn't that a gimmick of his to switch his middle initial from time to time?)Um, no? XD I think you're thinking of a different Michael J (or P!) Nelson. And his coffin will be made entirely of coconuts, thank you.I want him inside me. Kat? ACK DON'T HIT OR YELL omg mike what are you doing? you're going to kill my childhood if you die. PLEASE DON'T DIE, I'LL CEASE TO EXIST.I know honey, I know. The term "ate nothing but bacon" can now replace "jumped the shark."Example: That episode of [once popular TV show] ate nothing but bacon last night."Quickly, to TvTropes! I hope he dies. No, really, I literally hope this kills him. Christ, what an asshole.No seriously, what is with all the hate? Did he riff your favorite movie or something, what!? "February 1, 2009: "I’ll get right to the good stuff: for the entire month of February, I, Michael J. Nelson will eat nothing but bacon. Nothing, my friends, but bacon." February 15, 2009: "I’ll get right to the good stuff: for the entire month of February, I, Michael J. Nelson will have nothing but severe diarrhea. Nothing, my friends, but diarrhea." February 28, 2009: "I’ll get right to the good stuff: for the entire month of March, I, Michael J. Nelson will have nothing but an angioplasty. Nothing, my friends, but an angioplasty."I look forward to some quality new rifftrax towards the end of the month as delirium sets inJoel. That is all.oh god pepsi all over my screen why did this make me laugh so hard? XD
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Post by Queen Shadowrama on Feb 3, 2009 10:53:35 GMT -3
I am shocked to see all that Mike hate. No seriously, even people who don't prefer Mike as host don't hate him. I'm very surprised, but i guess that's to be expected when you live in bubbles of MSTiedom. For me, it's like telling someone your dog is totally well behaved and would never hurt anyone, and then it goes and mauls a baby.
Seriously, what did Mike do to these people? It can't all be Rifftrax...can it?
*EDIT* Oh, and my favorite quote from the Metafilter comments:
I feel sorry for Mrs Nelson (or whoever it is that has to share a bathroom with him). I shudder to imagine the kind of hellacious craps he'll be taking by the end of the month.
The word hellacious sent me over the edge! ;D ;D ;D
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Post by Queen Shadowrama on Feb 3, 2009 11:13:02 GMT -3
Oh, and just because, I feel the need to post Mike's stats here:
"However, in the interest of advancing the bacon arts I am willing to release these few vitals: my waist size is 33/34. My blood pressure is pretty consistently 117/65. My weight hovers around 190. I’m 6?2?. I willing to bet you my weight will not change (may lose a little, actually) my blood pressure will probably drop a little, and I won’t get any taller."
For some reason, I'm insanely happy to know Mike's vitals, lol!
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Creepy Girl
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Post by Creepy Girl on Feb 3, 2009 20:25:43 GMT -3
Oh, lord. Those comments are priceless. xD Except for all the Mike hate, what's up with that?! D<
I agree Queenie, there's something quite satisfying about knowing his measurements. As creepy and inappropriate as that sounds.
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Post by crowfan on Feb 3, 2009 20:27:35 GMT -3
This kinda reminds me of the guy who ate nothing but Big Macs for a month. However at least bacon is a worthwhile cause.
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Katana
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Post by Katana on Feb 3, 2009 21:04:18 GMT -3
For being who he is, Mike's actually a pretty healthy guy. Then he has to pull the bacon thing, making everyone think he's going to die. Also, my friend pointed out the ONTD link, which I passed on to Robyn and yeah. I don't have the exact words anymore, but it went something like this: Allyson: WTF community.livejournal.com/ontd/113604.htmlKat: XD I already heard about that Allyson: He's going to die Kat: XD; I enjoy that about 80% of the responses are "Mike's gonna die" while the rest is either still going "wtf" or "WOOH GO MIKE!"
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Katana
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Post by Katana on Feb 16, 2009 20:27:27 GMT -3
Hey, an interview! It focuses a lot more on the weird bacon cult craze, but our good ol' Mikey is in there too. Most intriguing is the last line: Meanwhile, he's generating more mocking soundtracks for purchase online. Coming up is Jaws – "we're finally doing a really good movie." And don't worry, he says, that he won't live to see it released.
"My blood pressure has dropped and I've lost a bit of weight."PAH to all you naysayers! XP
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Katana
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Post by Katana on Feb 28, 2009 2:32:00 GMT -3
Circumstances have prevented Mike from completing the month blah blah blah I don't care. What I want to say is...
Mike's fifteen-year-old is really cute.
I want to leave a comment that indirectly asks him out, but there is no way to phrase that without sounding creepy. Sigh.
Just like his father! Both of them quite dashing in a tuxedo~
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Post by OxfordProle on Feb 28, 2009 11:39:08 GMT -3
Circumstances have prevented Mike from completing the month blah blah blah I don't care. What I want to say is... Mike's fifteen-year-old is really cute. I want to leave a comment that indirectly asks him out, but there is no way to phrase that without sounding creepy. Sigh. Just like his father! Both of them quite dashing in a tuxedo~ Mike does indeed have a fine pair of boys. ... Holy mother of God, that sounded so much better in my head. Top THAT for unintentional creepiness! What a great skit, what a wonderfully funny, charming family. It almost eases the EPIC BACON FAILURE heartbreak I'm currently experiencing. When do you think Mike will announce his Congressional run?
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Post by Robyn on Feb 28, 2009 12:47:24 GMT -3
I am freaking thrilled to finally see Mike's kids. Ever since he mentioned in a recent RiffBlog post that he had a 15-year-old son, I wondered what he looked like. It's kinda weird to think that Mike has teenagers, I always imagined them much younger. XD I agree that they are very cute, and I will say no more on the subject 'cause I don't want Chris Hansen on my ass. But seriously, there are so many good things going on in this video. Mike in a suit (with a pair of shoulders that appear to be carved from the mountains), Mike with his adorable family, Mike's big goofy grin, Mike Mike Miiiiiike! And hey, he's not dead! Plus! ;D
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